Senatorial Rape

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Senator Todd Akin says abortion shouldn’t be allowed even in cases of rape because he’s heard “from doctors” that when a woman is sexually assaulted by a man, her body has ways to “shut that whole thing down.” I believe him. After all, I’ve heard “from plumbers” that when a wire brush is forcibly shoved up a senator’s ass and spun at 200mph, his body has ways to “find an ounce of compassion and empathy” for rape victims.